tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post4302601829246603242..comments2023-06-29T06:19:46.900-07:00Comments on Family Ties: Media Stereotypes and Agency Myths About AdoptionSusan P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-16847074961498258812013-01-05T06:49:17.838-08:002013-01-05T06:49:17.838-08:00Susan, This is Dana from Death by Great Wall. I...Susan, This is Dana from Death by Great Wall. I'm running a series this year called "On Being Adopted." I'm looking for adoptees who will write guest posts that illustrate thsir experiences. I'd love for your to participate. Could you email me at Dana(at)deathbygreatwall(dot)com for a little more info? Thanks.Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09387768856636087077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-87533408450447342182012-12-28T14:48:48.609-08:002012-12-28T14:48:48.609-08:00Despite the popularity of often expressed reasons ...Despite the popularity of often expressed reasons for wrapping adoption in secrecy, it seems to me the most likely one is never mentioned -- inheritance. <br /><br />In my case, my birth mother, who, at first, desperately wanted to keep my birth a secret, eventually wanted to know how I'd fared. In the beginning, however, she had hoped to keep my existence a secret, especially from the man she married (not my birth father), the man she married very shortly after I was born -- in 1951.<br /><br />About two years into their marriage she spilled her guts. It all came out, putting a tremendous strain on their relationship. But it survived; they stayed together, and a couple of years later they had a daughter, to whom I'm now quite close.<br /><br />My mother's husband was a lawyer, a forward thinker concerned with contingencies, and my existence was a big one. Meanwhile, my mother eventually inherited a farm in Iowa. Over the years she began to wonder about me and it was clear from what my half-sister told me that if I'd found my way back into her life she would have welcomed me and she was likely to re-establish family ties. Perhaps include me in her will.<br /><br />However, her husband, in his capacity as an attorney, put an end to this possible dilution of their estate, rewriting her will to deflect and nullify any generosity of her spirit that might have driven her to share her assets with me. It seems it was his knowledge of her sentiments and anguish about relinquishing me that drove him to insulate their estate against my possible appearance.<br /><br />Though it's always said that adoption severs ties between parent and child, absolutely nothing stops one person from willingly including another in his/her will. It seems to me that some birth mothers, would, if they were financially able, add another beneficiary to their list of heirs. <br /><br />Sometime later tragedy struck. In 1979, my mother had a stroke and died. She was 55. Unfortunately, after her death, more than 20 years passed before I discovered her identity. By then her husband had also died, leaving only my half-sister as the sole survivor, who inherited the farm. <br /><br />Meanwhile, there's a long list of cases involving wealthy birth fathers who took steps to protect themselves from kids who might come looking for money. Bill Cosby is one. Al Neuharth is another.<br /><br />Chris Bischof<br />Brooklyn, NY<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-53033807888296246092012-12-19T10:27:15.797-08:002012-12-19T10:27:15.797-08:00I remember a few cases about how adoptive parents ...I remember a few cases about how adoptive parents were flipping out in the UK because their adopted children found their real mothers on Facebook. I'm sure this is why these stupid new laws have been passed. We can fight back though. Adoptees and first mothers need to put up our own websites, a multitude of them profiling what facts we do have about each other and pictures. The one thing the adoption monsters can't change is family resemblance and this can be very helpful in connecting with each other. And thanks to DNA tests a hunch or wondering if someone we see on the internet could be our mother, father or child can verify whether we are or not. We need to continue use modern day technology to go over the head of the lying control freaks, because quite frankly that is all they deserve.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-37382689105988097102012-12-17T10:08:58.731-08:002012-12-17T10:08:58.731-08:00Oh, Lori, if only more people thought like you do!...Oh, Lori, if only more people thought like you do! Why does the truth need a gatekeeper, for sure. And why shouldn't full-grown adults be empowered to navigate the truth on their own?Susan P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-3060217980836273322012-12-17T10:01:42.181-08:002012-12-17T10:01:42.181-08:00The phrase you use, "gatekeepers of the truth...The phrase you use, "gatekeepers of the truth" makes me wonder:<br /><br />Why does the truth need a gatekeeper?<br />Who is worthy of being the gatekeeper and what makes them so?<br />Where does that power to appoint oneself come from?<br /><br />I like that difference between morality and obedience.<br /><br />Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.com