tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post4511910343388551745..comments2023-06-29T06:19:46.900-07:00Comments on Family Ties: Adoption Reform and Political GamesSusan P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-5461231579311998052015-09-08T07:15:55.382-07:002015-09-08T07:15:55.382-07:00I am adopted and homless and nbody cares I nee hel...I am adopted and homless and nbody cares I nee help getting housing and nbody will help me get housing I think that's mean and strange it seems people have a hard time accepting me and helping me because I am adoptedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-31454207895871130722015-09-08T07:11:17.458-07:002015-09-08T07:11:17.458-07:00I think they want sealed records toplease the publ...I think they want sealed records toplease the public I am adopted and homless and nbody cares to help me get hosuing they all just call me lazy people are mean to me I think that's strange Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-87979003687506133402012-10-09T09:33:01.823-07:002012-10-09T09:33:01.823-07:00MamaGina, you didn't relinquish a child, did y...MamaGina, you didn't relinquish a child, did you? Maybe I read your comment wrong, but I got that you're an adoptee questioning whether or not you have the right to contact your natural mother?<br /><br />If so, yes, you do have that right. Whether she wishes to hear from you or not.<br /><br />What everyone has written is correct--no mothers were promised anonymity and very few want it. Even if your mother is one who does, her wishes do not trump your rights. And you DO have the right to your family social and medical history. You have the right to know your relatives. You have the right to build relationships with willing siblings and cousins and aunts, etc. Your mother's secret is HER secret only. It's not yours.<br /><br />When I found my mother (a very positive, happy reunion), I asked her why she had never looked for me. She answered that the agency had made her promise she wouldn't, and she'd always felt that she had to keep her word. I answered, "Well, it's a good thing I never promised jack-sh*t to anyone, isn't it?!?"<br /><br />No one's ever been able to produce a document showing any relinquishing mother was promised privacy. Ever. Not one. Because they weren't. It may been implied to some, but it was never promised, certainly not in any binding way.<br /><br />Records were sealed to assuage adopter insecurity and for no other reason.Reneehttp://alwaysrenee.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-641931460562165232012-10-09T09:04:05.689-07:002012-10-09T09:04:05.689-07:00Sealed records were created to please the customer...Sealed records were created to please the customers, the adopters. Moms were never promised privacy and most of them never wanted either privacy or to lose their babies in the first place. It's sad to see that there are a few out there who genuinely do not love their own children. I'm glad I'm not one of those kids. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-51631538656719627142012-10-09T08:47:33.730-07:002012-10-09T08:47:33.730-07:00But, Gina, you DO have rights to privacy. The sam...But, Gina, you DO have rights to privacy. The same rights accorded to every other citizen of the United States; that is, to hang up the phone, shut the door, write back and say, "Please leave me alone." What you do NOT have is the right to perpetual anonymity. Every time any of us does anything that will affect another human being or society at large, we give up our right to anonymity. Each time you touch something, you leave fingerprints; therefore, your identity. Every time you go out in public, make a major purchase, get a parking ticket, etc., you reveal your identity. When you gave birth to your child, you imprinted him or her with your genetic material - your identity.<br />I wish you well in your journey through life. Keep your privacy dear, better yet, strive to make your identity a positive, uplifting one for the world to remember you.<br />With loving wishes,<br />Priscilla Stone Sharp, proud to be a mother to two incredible, beautiful daughters, one of whom was taken from me at birthPrisSharphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06877281258502615436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-14040297205083245262012-10-09T08:30:30.936-07:002012-10-09T08:30:30.936-07:00Based on several DOZEN women I know (including my ...Based on several DOZEN women I know (including my mother), it actually goes more like this:<br /><br />woman gives birth<br />has few options<br />is told adoption is better for baby<br />pain ensues - goodbyes are said<br />is warned not to search<br />your child is dead to you <br />she belongs to someone else now<br />baby is given a new identity<br />records are sealed<br />life goes on but memories linger<br />years roll by<br />baby becomes adult<br />I must be patient<br />will she search for me?<br />despite people telling her it's wrong to search for me?<br />despite few clues and doors slammed in her face?<br />found - reunited - happy tears flow<br />does the government have the right to keep us apart?<br />do you have the right to keep us apart?<br /><br /><br />Gaye Tannenbaumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17792214233203816331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-72557381003260378882012-10-09T07:50:27.719-07:002012-10-09T07:50:27.719-07:00You weren't promised "privacy". If ...You weren't promised "privacy". If you think you were, produce the document! Oh ya, that's right, it doesn't exist! Welcome to the real world, MamaGina. Now grow up and put your big girl panties on. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-62556892441954305872012-10-09T07:35:36.365-07:002012-10-09T07:35:36.365-07:00MamaGina,
Your viewpoint is based on false assumpt...MamaGina,<br />Your viewpoint is based on false assumptions. The first false assumption is that privacy was promised. Several legal decisions have determined that birth parents were never promised privacy -- records were sealed in the mid-twentieth century to protect the interest of adoptive parents. If you're interested in the history of sealed records, I suggest you read the work of law professor Elizabeth Samuels. The second false assumption is that birth parents want anonymity from their own offspring. The data from states that have allowed adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates clearly shows that a tiny minority of birth parents say that they wish to have no contact with their surrendered children, now adults. In Oregon, where adult adoptees have had access to their original birth certificates since 2000, fewer than 1 percent of birth mothers have said they prefer to have no contact, and over 10,000 adoptees have received their birth records. Many, many birth mothers have come forward to say they were never promised anonymity -- rather, it was forced upon them. When birth mothers prefer to have no contact, they can simply say no, just like any other adult. My birth mother, for example, preferred to have no continuing contact, and of course I have honored her request. We did have a letter and phone exchange, however, that provided a great deal of closure for both of us. I think you are confusing privacy and anonymity. Obviously, I have a vested interest in knowing something about my birth parents, because they are part of me. My birth mother and I share a private past, and that past is nobody's business except for our own. Many myths about adoption have been propagated by agencies and attorneys who in their own financial self-interest work primarily to assuage the fears of adoptive parents. They are unfortunately less interested in the welfare of the relinquished child or, for that matter, the welfare of the surrendering parents.Susan P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-22557784725093990962012-10-08T04:37:53.537-07:002012-10-08T04:37:53.537-07:00woman gives birth
adoption is chosen
pain ensues
t...woman gives birth<br />adoption is chosen<br />pain ensues<br />the deal is made<br />privacy promised<br />records are sealed<br />life goes on<br />years roll by<br />baby becomes adult<br />enter adoption reform<br />privacy be damned<br />do I have this right?MamaGinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-6142881504612303972012-10-03T13:41:21.886-07:002012-10-03T13:41:21.886-07:00"adoptees won't compromise."
And ..."adoptees won't compromise." <br /><br />And why the F#@% should we compromise? We didn't have anything to go with being second-class citizens under the law. That's like saying that only those slaves born within certain years would be freed while the rest would remain enslaved.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-55577482045947012392012-10-02T18:34:09.269-07:002012-10-02T18:34:09.269-07:00I hope Christie is a one-term governor, and takes ...I hope Christie is a one-term governor, and takes his absurd big mouth to business. As long as he is governor, adoptee rights in New Jersey are dead. Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.com