tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post5369093134686385709..comments2023-06-29T06:19:46.900-07:00Comments on Family Ties: Adoptive Parents and Pro-lifers who Cannot or Will Not See the Realities of AdoptionSusan P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-35320263811538908232014-07-22T22:03:38.897-07:002014-07-22T22:03:38.897-07:00Well said! Your call to serve the interest of all...Well said! Your call to serve the interest of all involved will fall on deaf ears, of course, because adoptive parents (backed by lawyers and others who profit off the industry) have all the power in this triangle. NOT the low-resource, often young, birth mothers. And certainly NOT the children. The system is the way adoptive parents want it. Legally enforced open adoptions, registries, and (gasp) open records laws are what THEY don't want and it sickens me that they're the first ones to speak FOR BIRTH MOTHERS, claiming to know how BIRTH MOTHERS think and feel about such things. If adoptive parents really wanted more adoptions to happen, they'd do their own grief work and quit insisting that their need to deny the reality of their childrens history run this show. And again, that'll never happen because with power and money come all the denial you need.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-47494458630810038502013-04-18T11:57:02.618-07:002013-04-18T11:57:02.618-07:00Agreed, Aiko. We should be trusted to approach or...Agreed, Aiko. We should be trusted to approach original parents in a private and sensitive way, if we desire to connect. There is a big difference between relationship and contact, and adults should be left alone to address their very personal business, without agency or government interference.Susan P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-74206338075885076782013-04-18T10:09:55.012-07:002013-04-18T10:09:55.012-07:00In my opinion, it's still the adoptee’s right ...In my opinion, it's still the adoptee’s right to know where they came. It is really hard to move on when there's something missing in your life. I think that's reason why adoptees in general are very sensitive with regards to this matter. The most important thing that we should consider is paying them respect with their privacy.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.givingbirthtohope.org/" rel="nofollow">Aiko Dumas</a> <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-25678605866273615972012-10-09T18:54:02.678-07:002012-10-09T18:54:02.678-07:00Ready to move on? Guess I wasn't. I'm 49...Ready to move on? Guess I wasn't. I'm 49, and in reunion with my family for 2 1/2 years, the only happy years of my entire life. Adopters who think that we will "move on" and forget our families are deluded and sick. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-12701507675364576792012-09-26T18:09:33.424-07:002012-09-26T18:09:33.424-07:00It seems so obvious that the child's best inte...It seems so obvious that the child's best interests should always be the most important, but I know that's rarely the case.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-32777939642443566072012-09-18T14:25:33.781-07:002012-09-18T14:25:33.781-07:00Yes, Robin,
The ignorance about adoption realities...Yes, Robin,<br />The ignorance about adoption realities in some circles is just appalling, and I do reserve special blame for adoption facilitators who should know better, but who ignore adoption research in their efforts to appease adoptive parent insecurities and to close the deal. We have to remember that there are plenty of less than stellar biological parents out there too, but presumably, adoptive parents have been screened for their suitability. Obviously, comprehensive screening is not occurring in some cases. It is those adoptive parents who truly want the best for their children and who listen to adult adoptee voices with open minds who give me hope.Susan P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-33942453066147317132012-09-18T13:42:05.628-07:002012-09-18T13:42:05.628-07:00"I want to adopt children who are ready to mo..."I want to adopt children who are ready to move on."<br /><br />This has to be one of the most outrageous statements I've ever heard in my life. What is she going to do? Interview different children and see which one is ready to move on? I guess the potential adopted kid would have to be old enough to talk and understand the question. Of course, we all know what will happen. This poor adopted child who has already been moved half way around the world will have to deny her own feelings to keep the peace and remain secure in our adoptive home. I mean, really, does any child ever completely lose their tie to their original parents? I don't think so.<br /><br />And then you ask, how were these people approved to adopt? It doesn't surprise me at all. Given that there are plenty of less than stellar adoptive parents out there it certainly doesn't seem that the requirements are terribly stringent to qualify to adopt.Robinnoreply@blogger.com