tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post623260721804713456..comments2023-06-29T06:19:46.900-07:00Comments on Family Ties: Calling on Gov. Christie to do the right thing Susan P.http://www.blogger.com/profile/00349497879874393200noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-25663183788228522342014-04-08T11:20:00.511-07:002014-04-08T11:20:00.511-07:00I agree with Lori, it's the people that raise ...I agree with Lori, it's the people that raise you with love and care that are the "real parents" . But the information from the "blood parents" is imperative. Love to your Mom, she is wonderful, as are you !!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-79725234501655445532014-04-08T02:17:26.600-07:002014-04-08T02:17:26.600-07:00Thank you for continuing to write about this issue...Thank you for continuing to write about this issue that is close to your mother's heart. I was fortunate to meet Susan through our writings at Lost Daughters. I think of her often and she is truly a role model and inspiration to the rest of us fighting for equal rights. As a closed-era adoptee who was left in a lurch with no medical history, all I can say is I was really really fortunate to not have any major illnesses that stumped my parents into finding the proper treatment for me. Others have not been as fortunate. There are tales of auto-immune disorders, skin problems, diabetes history, you-name it, amongst adoptee-circles and we are all understandably outraged that the closed system prevents us from doing what is best for our own preventative health care.<br /><br />Even the simple fact that my father is unknown to me, prevents me from finding out my medical history on the paternal side and what diseases run in my family. It is maddening, unfair and can be life threatening. <br /><br />My thoughts and prayers are with Susan and your family. <br /><br />Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15575558244573598420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-60210690867901411152014-03-02T07:00:30.927-08:002014-03-02T07:00:30.927-08:00Thanks, Lorraine. I know she is an inspiration to ...Thanks, Lorraine. I know she is an inspiration to me, for this and for many other things as well. RunningTeacherMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00824325376493562025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-48566176455372911832014-03-02T06:58:39.997-08:002014-03-02T06:58:39.997-08:00Hi anonymous. I will do my best to reply even thou...Hi anonymous. I will do my best to reply even though I am not an adoptee myself. If I have learned anything from my mom's journey over the past 13 years it is that the adult adoptee is really the only one who can speak for adoptees at all, and thus, if adoption really is an institution set up to protect the child first and foremost, then the voice of adult adoptees is the most important one in the dialogue. It seems crazy to me how many people dismiss that. I guess this is why most involved in this movement have take "real" out of the dialogue altogether. It can be so hurtful. That said, I know that my mom's truth lies somewhere in the middle. Her (biological/"natural") sisters, who are driving down to spend the day with her today despite a huge snow storm threatening the East Coast, are so real to and loved by her, AND her adoptive parents, who fiercely loved and protected her (and who I believe would have supported her in her finding/embracing the full story of her life, had they not been counseled otherwise by "those with all the power") were also real to and loved by her (that goes for her adoptive brother, too). I also know many other adoptive parents who do love their children fiercely and have gone to great lengths to do what is best for them, even traveling to other countries to search out their roots. Finally, her original mother, though she never met my mom, is a real, important part of my mom's story. My mom's older sister gave her a beautiful framed picture of her original mother as a small child, and my mom keeps it on the shelf with the other family pictures. I am sorry for her sake that she did not meet my mom before she passed away this October. All that said, I am very aware of the "game" adoptees are often forced to play, and I pray that those in power -- those making the laws and those facilitating adoptions (the agencies and lawyers) -- listen, truly LISTEN, to what brave adult adoptees have told them about the system, and what needs to be changed. RunningTeacherMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00824325376493562025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-43435913923055303282014-03-02T04:57:41.385-08:002014-03-02T04:57:41.385-08:00Amy, I am so sorry to hear Michael is having a hea...Amy, I am so sorry to hear Michael is having a health crisis. Yes, it's interesting that we readily accept that this is needed information for health but make it so difficult for adoptees to find out. It really was my sister, as a doctor, who pushed my mom to find out her full story (and that required hiring a private detective, at great cost). The intermediary that the opposition suggests is needed simply did not work to find out needed information. Finally, I probably just should be known as "TeacherMama" as I've been running less these days :)RunningTeacherMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00824325376493562025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-86805472546296172442014-03-01T12:37:26.088-08:002014-03-01T12:37:26.088-08:00Please tell your mother this mother (original, fir...Please tell your mother this mother (original, first, biological) who partly raised a teenager too appreciates her speaking out for all adoptees. She is an inspiration to everyone. Lorraine Duskyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285341379272250245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-62792876927261085802014-03-01T12:28:51.987-08:002014-03-01T12:28:51.987-08:00Well you know not all adoptees consider their adop...Well you know not all adoptees consider their adoptive parents their real parents. I certainly don't and only consider my natural parents my real parents. No one can speak for all adoptees but I think some adoptees who go off and say that their real parents are their adoptive parents are just subverting themselves to the game we are forced to play BY adoptive parents and all the snakes with all the power.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-69153046770605397012014-02-28T12:31:16.438-08:002014-02-28T12:31:16.438-08:00The information I provided to the adoption agency ...The information I provided to the adoption agency when I was 20 years old was not only incomplete; it was erroneous. The "pancreatic cancer" we believed my dad had has since been determined to have originated with colon cancer. I don't need to tell you the implications for my daughter as she reached the age where colonoscopies are recommended, especially since insurance companies cover these procedures at varying intervals depending on family history. <br /><br />We also hadn't a clue that connective tissue disease, genetically transmitted, loomed in our family, waiting to strike here and there through the generations. Ironically, it was through my reunion with my relinquished daughter (locating her cost me a small fortune!) that we were first made aware of the disease; she developed lupus. It's frightening to know that if it had been my subsequent child who had been relinquished for adoption and he had been unable to find us to warn us, we would have lost his younger brother to sudden aortic aneurysm and had no idea why. (Heart problems like mitral valve failure and aortic aneurysm are also manifestations of connective tissue disease.) His brother, heeding the warning, got checked and was found to have an aneurysm approaching mandatory surgery in size.<br /><br />This is not a frivolous request adoptees are making; it can be one of literal life or death.The Adoption Diggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15586652169070015589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-41788135915247829592014-02-28T05:14:11.994-08:002014-02-28T05:14:11.994-08:00This really hits home. Michael is having a health ...This really hits home. Michael is having a health crisis and the first thing all docs ask for is family history--we were just talking yesterday about how we didn't think about that angle of adoption when we were thirty somethings and in process of adopting. Now closing in on 50, we realize the implications of Chloe not knowing her family health history. Should you now be known as RunningTeacherMamaWriter? You are an amazing woman!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16085174864168598433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-84129226336800315822014-02-28T01:46:12.731-08:002014-02-28T01:46:12.731-08:00Hi Robin. Thanks for the comment and for your good...Hi Robin. Thanks for the comment and for your good wishes. Yes, I know my mom was upset that the article started that way. The reporter did her best to understand the story, but I think for those not involved in adoption themselves it is easy to miss some of the (extremely) important points. All the more reason to listen to those voices (adoptees, adoptive families, and original families) when drafting legislation. Once I started to listen, the voices were clear, eloquent, and poignant. RunningTeacherMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00824325376493562025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-63889123139751796532014-02-27T18:16:13.544-08:002014-02-27T18:16:13.544-08:00Thanks Lora. My mom and I were just admiring the p...Thanks Lora. My mom and I were just admiring the pictures you took of the kids. Yes, I hope Governor Christie signs this bill. It passed the Senate and Assembly today, so on to him ... RunningTeacherMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00824325376493562025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-86688015842803254992014-02-27T07:28:48.727-08:002014-02-27T07:28:48.727-08:00I am so glad you brought up the issue of "rea...I am so glad you brought up the issue of "real mother". I was offended by its use in the article. It does imply that Susan's wonderful adoptive parents (and your wonderful grandparents) are somehow not your family. And I know that is the furthest thing from the truth. Also, referring to the natural mother as the REAL mother further stigmatizes adoptees in general. So, I just want to thank you for not overlooking what I'm sure was an unintentional faux pas. I hope that you and your whole family are doing as well as possible under the circumstances. I appreciate all of you for keeping up the fight for adoptee rights even during these most difficult times. I think of Susan often and wish her the best.Robinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-4203992344238625492014-02-26T19:49:51.737-08:002014-02-26T19:49:51.737-08:00Your mom has been an incredible "accidental a...Your mom has been an incredible "accidental activist" and I hope the bill passes and is signed by the Governor. Lots of love and strength to all of you. Lora Carrhttp://www.loracarr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-35718051930956123092014-02-26T17:12:23.122-08:002014-02-26T17:12:23.122-08:00Thanks, Lori. I will. It's a shame the article...Thanks, Lori. I will. It's a shame the article used that term. We have talked so much these past few months about my mom's adoptive mother and all our memories of her. Our love for her was fierce, and very real. RunningTeacherMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00824325376493562025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8112566410387491537.post-39839994604389259942014-02-26T15:15:29.260-08:002014-02-26T15:15:29.260-08:00Please extend my love to your mom.
I'm glad y...Please extend my love to your mom.<br /><br />I'm glad you clarified the term "real mother" in the article. That phrase has done a lot of damage to so many.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.com